Why are handjobs necessary in class?
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
She's just so happy...and so naked.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
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