I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
Randomize
