So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
he fucked my hip out of place.
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Randomize
