New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
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