She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
Randomize
