I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
I will be naked everywhere
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
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