We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
Randomize
