if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
My butt remains clenched, sir.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize
