So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
Randomize
