I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
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