I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
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