we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize