Well douche your snatch and let's go!
I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Randomize
