He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
Randomize
