Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
Went to the doctors. She saw my " I love beer" tattoo. All she said was " My drunken tat is of just one word. "Cornnuts.". Then said Mexico was "awesome." And sent me on my way. Yeah. She's my favorite doctor.
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
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