I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
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