do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
Just pee around me
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Randomize
