Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
Randomize
