I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
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