It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
Randomize
