why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
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