Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Randomize
