Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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