Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
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