I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
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