You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
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