I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
