that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
The cop let us off with a warning because I had more Twitter followers than he did. The future is terrifying.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
