It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
