dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
you inspire me to be a worse person
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
Randomize
