pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
Randomize
