My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
