well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
Randomize
