I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
Randomize
