If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Randomize
