Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
Randomize
