one might say we're banned from that church
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
