Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Randomize
