Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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