she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
Randomize
