Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
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