Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
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