We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
