I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
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