We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Randomize
