Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
Randomize
