Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
It's like God shit irony all over that family
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
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