He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
I've got a whole match.com system. Triple book. First dates always get the 6pm happy hour drinks slot. 8pm dinner goes to a girl where I think I can close the deal. 10pm slot goes to the sure thing in case of emergency, but 6 can always trump 8 and 8 always trumps 10. Just blame it on a dead iPhone battery.
That, my friend, is how I bang 50 new girls a year. Not luck at all. It's science and statistics.
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Randomize
