hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
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