he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
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