trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
Randomize
