I hope mine doesn't look like that
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
Randomize
