So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
This martini tastes like the bartender stirred it with his foreskin.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
Randomize
