this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
Randomize