another moral hangover. fuck.
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
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