end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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