It's just like the Real World with babies
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
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