call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
