week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
Randomize
