If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
I just sucked dick on a ferry
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
Randomize
