so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
Randomize
