The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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