Whatcha textin bout Willis?
I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
Randomize
