Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
Randomize
