A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
Randomize
