You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
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