i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
party gras won. party gras always wins.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Randomize
