Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
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