Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
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