Porn is love you can see.
It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
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