i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Randomize
