Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
