i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
Randomize
