Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
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