Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Randomize