apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
Randomize
