I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
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