ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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